Death

Death is something that has been happening a lot and I can't seem to get it out of my mind. When I try to talk to people about it I get the same old "Oh Brittany, you just think too much". I can't explain why it's been eating at me so much. Well, I do know...it's been everywhere lately. Okay, so I'll admit, I'm a Hollywood follower. My older sister, Katrina, is an advid E! watcher and magazine reader. She hooked me onto it. So, I've been seeing a lot of the news coverage of all the celebrities that have passed away. Hollywood seems so far away and the celebrities don't even seem real, but when you think about they are human too. They have families, they have people that love them for them and will miss them. 1 year ago on July 5th my best friend's dad died after a battle with cancer. I am particularly close to her family. She's more than just a best friend to me, she's like family. The doctors told him and the family that it was indeed Stage 4 cancer the day before her birthday in February. He died in July. He apparently had been battling the disease and the effects of it for quite some time and was just too stubborn to go to the doctor. He was seeing specialists and everything. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! One of the doctors had told us that he had 3 months...2 weeks later he took his last breath. The X-rays were horrific and the image will forever be plastered in the minds of those who love him. I don't think I've dealt with it yet. No, he wasn't my "blood" family, but who said family is only based on blood? I do everything I can to help my friend through the rough year it's been without even addressing my own sadness. It seems like as soon as he died I started to hear more about people with illnesses and people dying. I know that it's not anything new, but I guess my eyes were just opened to it more. People dying or really sick...it's EVERYWHERE. Today I couldn't turn on the T.V. without seeing coverage of the Michael Jackson memorial. It's always something. I mentioned it to my mom today and she just told me not to be scared. I'm not necessarily scared. I know that as long as I stay strong in my faith I will be in a better place. I fully believe in God and his angels. Sometimes I just feel....well, I can't explain it, but I know God is present in my life. So, I wouldn't say I'm scared, just overwhelmed by it. I didn't really have pets when I was younger and have only attended 1 funeral that had anything to do with my family up until recently. Maybe I didn't get the realization of death until Robert, my friend's dad, died. I miss him. His death has changed my friend and that's been pretty hard. It's a healing process this I know. I know that I just need to cry and let it out. It made me start thinking about what illnesses are each side of my family. I started to think WAY too much. That's the downside of not working, it gives me time to think. This blog has totally gone away from what I intended it to be, but that's okay. I'm here to appreciate everything God has given me, including all the people He has given me. I think back on Robert and the memories I have of him and they bring a smile to my face. That's all I want. I want to be someone that whether I'm here or not will bring a smile to their face. I'm going to go look up some more wedding picture ideas now!!!